“Working at this high-end gym, a place I could only dream of affording as a member, brought me some truly unique clientele. I was introduced to a new personal training client, a woman decked out in designer workout attire – the kind that screams ‘expensive’ – yet she exuded an air of profound disinterest. It was as if she were enduring a particularly tedious chore. To top it off, she sported a full face of glam makeup and oversized jewelry, hardly practical for a serious workout.
‘So,’ I began, trying to remain professional, ‘what are your fitness objectives?’
Her response was immediate and startling: ‘I just want a workout that won’t make me sweat.’
‘That’s going to be a challenge,’ I explained, ‘since the very nature of effective exercise involves pushing your body to a point where perspiration is unavoidable.’
‘Yes, but I absolutely cannot sweat,’ she insisted. ‘I’m here to be seen by my future husband, and sweating is, frankly, repulsive.’
‘I’m afraid I can’t be of much assistance then,’ I replied, trying to keep the incredulity out of my voice. ‘Any workout that yields results will inevitably lead to sweating.’
‘And what about… pointless exercise?’ she inquired.
‘Well,’ I said, struggling to find a tactful response, ‘that’s really the only option left.’
Unable to justify charging her for a workout that would achieve nothing, I offered some gentle exercise suggestions, minimal effort activities that might have some benefit, without inducing a single bead of sweat.
For the next two months, she graced the gym with her presence, primarily occupying machines as glorified texting stations, occasionally glancing around at the other members. Then, she vanished. Given that she’d signed a year-long contract, I sincerely hope her quest for a sweat-free husband sighting was successful.”
